This Week In Sham Relationships

Whether you're doing it to promote an album, a religion, or your sad, desperate struggle with heterosexuality, going through the motions of a transparently false romantic relationship is a quick and easy way to get a little ink. Here's a few of our recent favorites:

Jack White and ugly-pretty red haired model lady
Jack gets lots of credit for style and audacity — all the details of the "wedding" are so glaringly, obviously false as to serve as a sort of devastating critique of the entire concepts of marriage and celebrity. Or it could just be a fuck-you to his squinty ex.

The rest, after the jump.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes
If it keeps inspiring television moments like this, we will even consider taking one of your stupid personality tests.

Woodward and Bernstein
They had a funny/cute nickname, appeared in each others work like Woody and Mia, and clearly can't stand each other. Carl even wants to tag along with Bob's lucrative new book deal, despite the fact that the book is already written and being rushed to publishers in time for the cash-in.

America's love affair with the automobile
America and the automobile have been living separately for years now, and insiders suggest that the fire in their relationship may be cooling. While America will always like the automobile more than the stupid, wussy bicycle, she has been seen around town lately hobnobbing with bullet trains and hovercrafts.

Christian Slater and a middle-aged woman's ass
When the legitimate theater doesn't get their attention, an arrest for sexual misconduct certainly will. Congratulations, Christian! -AP