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The Defamer Special Real Estate Correspondent once again takes us deep inside the LAT's "Hot Property" column, puzzling over why the formerly security-conscious Penelope Cruz swapped her gated residence for a seemingly less secure homestead:

Penelope Cruz moved down the street four doors and traded a gated Tuscan/Med home for a surprisingly exposed 50s modern. I've seen both houses and it's a bit of a surprise. She was renting the old house, on a great hidden gem of a street above the Whiskey-A-Go-Go, home to Christina Aguilera (the white Rolls Phantom is always parked out front) and others, and bought a very different house just around the corner on a less fabulous street.

The biggest shock is that the new house is on an open corner lot, with more drive-by traffic, no walls, and no gates; you could just walk up and look in the front windows. In fact, since Ms. Cruz did have a break-in at the other house, the lower level of security really doesn't make sense. She was so frightened that there was an armed guard parked in an unmarked car across the street 24/7. This only came out when the neighbors thought the security detail was the infamous LA high-end home thieves (as reported in Vanity Fair and other places) casing the street and called the LAPD.

We think we might all be overlooking the obvious here: Crippled with fear about another break-in (and looking to supplement her acting income—taking a part in Sahara seems like a desperate move), Cruz may have joined the burglars. Be safe; an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of police reports. Should you encounter Cruz at a party in the Hills, refrain from discussing your alarm security code—even if she insists that kind of talk is really "caliente."