· Lindsay Lohan denies entry to Jessica and Ashlee Simpson at the incredibly shrinking starlet's MTV Movie Awards after-party; Jessica responds with hearty threats of southern-style ass kicking. Meanwhile, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes continue to express their love for Scientology by licking one another for the camera. [Page Six]
· Has Butter-czar Scott Sartiano ended his romance with Ashley Olsen? And if Ashley and her sister Mary-Kate can no longer dine at Sartiano's restaurant, will they ever eat again? [Lowdown (2nd item)]
· When talking about the lack of African performers for the next Live Aid concert, Rush & Molloy refer to Mariah Carey as the "only touch of flava" in the lineup. No, you're not still drunk: they really used "flava" without irony. [R&M]
· Model Tyson Beckford emerges from a car accident with cuts and bruises — oh, God, why must you hurt our pretty people? [NYDN]
· By drowning her in Kabbalah water, Rabbi Berg can keep Demi Moore quiet about her pregnancy. [Scoop]
· Meanwhile, the Page Six-Jeanette Walls ultrasound announces that the Britney and Kevin's Federletus will be a girl. [Page Six]

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