· After reportedly gobbling up Lindsay Lohan's leftovers with Wilmer Valderrama, "singer" Ashlee Simpson is licking face with Butter co-owner Scott Sartiano — presumably, her tongue will remove any traces of Scott Sartiano's ex, Ashley Olsen. [Page Six]
· Hip-hop mogul P. Diddy loses in court after a judge rules that he must pay $250K a year in child support, which is the highest amount in the history of New York. Cue tearful interviews about his son being used as a scam. [NYDN]
· Mary-Kate uses alcohol to induce vomiting, which is technically an improvement. [Gatecrasher]
· Apparently the readers of Child magazine don't think Britney Spear's husband Kevin Federline will be a good father. Poor Federletus. [Scoop (last item)]
· Photographer Dave LaChappelle expresses his fondness for krumping, Amanda Lepore, and Pam Anderson, but not Page Six wizard Richard Johnson. [R&M]

Contact information for this author is not available.