New Apprentice Has Windows!

In an effort to assure the world that she did not suffer the same, heartbreaking fate as Kelly Perdew, the windowless indentured servant who preceded her as Apprentice winner, new Trump disciple Kendra Todd conducted an interview with the AP during her first day of hard labor at the Trump National Golf Club in Briarcliff Manor:

"I have several windows," she said. "There's so many windows I have to turn up the air conditioning because there's so much sun."

In fact, sometimes the heat from the intense, direct sunlight triggers the cocoa butter sprinklers mounted in the ceiling, forcing the first the first female Apprentice to strip down to her underthings for hours at a time. After her initial three-month "orientation," Todd will be transferred to the Trump Brunei Hotel and Casino for a rigorous year as a greeter/harem bride, a position that will properly prepare her for the corporate life of the Trump Organization.