Good morning, class! Please sit down and take a moment to look at the above image, which compares the front pages from today's editions of our city's two beloved rags. You'll note that the individual covers are completely distinct from one another, free of overlapping coverage. This is nothing short of monumentous: By managing to make themselves mutually exclusive, the papers have finally articulated our an implicit, socio-cultural divide. For tonight's homework assignment, figure out which side you're really on.