• OMG! BRAD PITT HOSPITALIZED WITH RARE AFRICAN SEX VIRUS! Only tribal lovemaking with Angelina Jolie will save him now. [Defamer]
• Whose clothes fell off during a performance? Mariah Carey's. Whose flesh you really didn't want to see? Mariah Carey's. [ContactMusic]
• The cokeheads have asked us to point out how this headline makes cokeheads laugh. [NYT]
• Demi Moore sells out for Versace, and God forgive us for saying so, looks a lot better than Madonna when she does. [TCH]
• We love the idea of a round-robin assassination tourney in NYC. Pity it's with water guns. [Street Wars]
• Those Real World/Road Rules challenge shows don't just kill brain cells. They kill sea turtles, too. [B&C]

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