Reader Email: Clarifying Lindsay Lohan

From our glittery bag of reader email:

I'm terribly confused. One of your stalkers reported Lindsay walking through Washington Square this past Sunday, the 17th. The happy news of the natural hair color and healthier look drove me to Britney Source where they always have the latest pictures. One of the top entries along the right side of the page, however, has photographs of still-blond Lindsay shopping in West Hollywood on that very same day. Now she may be such a jet-setter that she can shop in LA in the morning, undo her dye and fly to New York in time for an afternoon stroll — but the slim chance of that leaves me quite upset. Can you resolve this?

Absolutely. Don't ever, ever worry your pretty little head about this matter. There are only two possible explanations. One: The sighting is just plain wrong. We say this every time, but sightings are sent in by readers and verified by Denton's left nut. We do our best to remove the bullshit, but we too were so thrilled by the prospect of Lindsay's return to normalcy that we simply had to run the item.

Explanation number two: Lindsay Lohan is in posession of a teleportation device. A simple, "Beam me up, Richie," and she is automatically transported to the dealer who answered his pager first. We're guessing her east coast hook-up was on the ball that day.

At any rate, we apologize for the oversight. Clearly, the sheer impossibility of Lindsay sporting a healthy look should have clued us in to the item's implausibility.

Gawker Stalker: Lohan Returns to Red, World Sighs with Relief [Gawker]