Can't decide who gets your vote in our Women of Conde Nast competition? That's what the testimonials are for.
Some are quick, to the point, and use terms we've never heard before: "Open and close the voting booth with Sylvana Soto-Ward, hottie bombottie and glutton for punishment as the assistant to Anna Wintour."
Others run on for a bit, building a persuasive case and highlighting obscure, tangential quality-of-life accomplishments: "I think my vote for Conde Nast Hottie has to be for Ruth Reichl. First of all, older women are sexy, and good ol' Ruthie is looking damned good in her mid 50s. Secondly, she's the editor of Gourmet, a glossy collection of the most orgasmic food porn ever — closeups of round, firm cherries, wet with a little bit of dew; or a succulent golden roasted chicken simmering in its own juices. If that's not hot, then I don't know what is. Lastly, her Gourmet cookbook is so massive that it could possibly kill someone if used properly — say, dropped from the top of the Conde Nast building onto a family of Nebraskan tourists reading a map. And isn't killing tourists what this contest is all about?"
And a few cut straight to the point: "C'mon! Plum Sykes, Plum Sykes, Plum Sykes!"
After the jump, lots more endorsements, all from the nominations phase. And remember to vote before polls close Monday morning.
In no particular order:
"I'd like to nominate Jill Demling for Conde Nast Hottie. She's so saucy, she even dated John Corbett."
"Deborah Treisman, definitely!"
"Liesl Schillinger, New Yorker. She's as seductive in person as she is on the pages of the Times Book Review."
"I nominate Larissa MacFarquhar, or however you spell her name, from The New Yorker. She's surprisingly attractive, plus she's married to Philip Gourevitch, who is kinda hot in a vaguely seedy way."
"Ruth Reichl owns Conde Nast — lox, chicken stock, and pickle barrel. She raised holy hell with Newhouse over garlic in the cafeteria after all. The woman knows how to get your mind and mouth watering."
"As much as it pains me, Plum Sykes. At least she eats... a bit."
"Meredith Melling Burke is easily the most beautiful editor at Vogue."
"I nominate Liesl Schillinger of The New Yorker (love her for her brain) and Jill Demling (love her for her body)."
"Ruth Reichl for her sheer awesomeness."
"Meredith Melling Burke, fashion news editor at Vogue. Perfect in every way. I hope she has retarded babies."
"Elizabeth Saltzman Walker is a natural choice. Attractive, fabulous, ridiculous."
"Meredith Melling Burke. She's pretty, if a bit too skinny."
"Sylvana Soto-Ward. Anna's blonde, Princeton-grad senior assistant at Vogue."
"Jillian Demling from Vogue — she s so stunning, and is the best dressed person there other than Anna."
"Amy Astley, TeenVogue editor in chief. A mini Wintour, without the 'nasties' attitude."
"If there's anyone hotter than Gourmet editrix Ruth Reichl at 4 Times Square, I don't know who it is. After years at the Times of heavy makeup and dowdy outfits so no one would recognize her, gallivanting around town incognito, she's totally ready for her closeup."
"Dana Goodyear at The New Yorker."
"I nominate Larissa MacFarquhar, writer for The New Yorker. Beauty and brains."
"If no one s nominated her yet (which would be a big surprise), I would like to suggest Vogue editor Meredith Melling Burke. Not only is she gorgeous and impeccably dressed, but she s also actually incredibly nice, at least in my limited interactions with her. Also gotta love her fashion-week-staple, the blonde spunky cheerleader ponytail."
"Sylvana Soto-Ward, Anna Wintour's assistant, is one of the most amazing-looking people I've ever seen. She's a sophisticated Gabrielle Reese type and a Princeton grad to boot, an enviable combination of brains and mile-long legs. And she's latina! Which is neither here nor there, really — but it just means that she gets a killer tan. When she was a summer intern at the Times, in the style department of the Magazine, she made a major impression. Billy Norwich was the entertaining editor at the time, and he never asked her to do anything. Finally, he asked me — does she speak English? And that is it in a nutshell: Syl is so hot people can't even fathom her speaking, she's just so exquisite to look at. She's so hot that people can't believe she's American."
"Dana Goodyear of The New Yorker was a total hottie in High School, but it's been a few years since I've seen her."
"Elizabeth Saltzman — no contest as CN's finest."
"Definitely Dana Goodyear. Super hot. Big tits. Thick blonde hair. Poetry writer."
"Susan Orlean of The New Yorker. I love her, and kind of (no, really) want to be her... as a writer, I mean."