Defamer Connections: Threesome Crashers And Emmy Dates

Today's Craiglist is brimming with opportunities for fulfilling, short-term relationships. First up, someone's seeking an experienced bi-friendly lady of color to help her and a "male celebrity" round out a threesome:

Looking for bi female to join me & a celebrity - w4w
This is a one time thing only. I'm looking for a female who would like to join me and a male celebrity in having a fun nsa time. The celebrity was recently in Wedding Crashers! I'm 25 yr old blonde, tall, fit, 32DD, woman This celebrity especially likes girls of a different race (asians, spanish, african, etc). No newbies. You must have some experience in being with another female. This is real and I'm only looking for real deals.... Please be between 18-30 yrs old.

It'll be just like a Bennetton ad, but with penetration and a much bigger casting budget. (Not that "male celebrity," if he exists, necessarily has the initials VV or O"TBS"W. Wouldn't they have their agents set this stuff up?)

Non-bi, non-females shouldn't feel too left out. After the jump, a great opportunity for a tall guy to trade the pleasure of his company for a trip to the Emmys.

Need a Date for the Emmys September 18th
Very attractive, successful woman in her mid 40's looking for a date for the Emmys. I'll pick you up in a limo, looking and smelling fabulous. You'll be in a tux. Prefer white guys, 5'10" or taller, with something irresistable. You don't have to be perfect. If you're the right man, you'll look that way to me. You should be in the industry, or be comfortable in that environment. Ideally, you'll be warm, smart, unattached and funny, and this will be one of many fun things we'll do together. I lead an interesting life and have a lot of fun. I'd love to share that with someone. Please respond with a pic, and I will send you some of mine.

That "smelling fabulous" line might reveal a hang-up; potential Emmy dates should make sure they're properly showered and splashed with cologne. No one likes a stinky manwhore.