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Not one but two reports arrived today on last night's big New Yorker vs. Harper's softball faceoff. The short version is this: The New Yorker folks won, 6-3, and one child played, though it was not Adam Gopnik's. Both reports after the jump.

Earlier: Softball

The first arrived from an anonymous emailer, who, based on his/her confusion of Gopnik's two kids and the cheap Bright Lights Big City joke, we suspect is a Harper'site:

The New Yorker beat Harper's last night 6-3 in softball in Central Park. Gopnik's kid with dead goldfish was not playing, but Harper's deputy editor Roger Hodge had his 8-year-old at second base for an inning. The kid made a play, and could have taken Gopnik's kid out. No solid evidence among the NYer factcheckers of performance-enhancing cocaine use, as none of them would submit to a drug test. The New Yorker didn't bring their legal department ringers this year, but they won anyway after Harper's took an early lead. Lewis Lapham didn't make the game, and he might be something of a good luck charm because the last time he came was the last time Harper's won. Rik Hertzberg pitched for the New Yorker, as did Ben Metcalf. ... The New Yorker players have their own uniforms, as opposed to the scrappy go-getters from Harper's, who were like the Bad News Bears. Base running was a common weak point, as you can imagine from two teams the majority of whom smoke Parliaments.

Next was explicitly from Harper's:

The New Yorker beat Harper's in softball yesterday evening. We lost track of the score but, whatever it was, they had one more time at bat than we did because it got too dark to continue. However, we console ourselves with the fact that we are way smarter than they are.

We can't imagine the uncharacteristic silence from 4 Times Square will continue after that last jab.

UPDATE: "That first report is clearly not from a Harper's staffer," notes someone who is a Harper's staffer. "Anyone from Harper's would know that Lewis Lapham was, in fact, not in attendance at that glorious game in the summer of 2003 when Harper's crushed The New Yorker 10-6."