Defamer Party Report: "Persuasion" After-Party Like A Mangled Twinkie

Following up on yesterday's post about the overcrowded, clusterfucktastic Pretty Persuasion premiere, an after-party attendee reports that the post-screening soiree had its own set of problems. Here's a tip to anyone on clipboard/bouncing/velvet rope duty: People are less offended when told, "Fuck you, pee-on, I'd eat your puppy and douse you in gasoline before let you in," than "We're only letting celebrities in now." Hollywood's funny that way. One more thing: Bum-rushing the line usually results in more black eyes than free drinks.

So after James Wood ushered at the screening and blew his noise on a jizz-hankie on screen, it was time to hit the most important part of any premiere—the after party! My genius friend convinced me that we would avoid the parking lot pandemonium by WALKING to the venue...half an hour and two aching feet later we arrived. Blew past the front check in, grabbed a free drink and made a much needed (after half an hour of WALKING-who friggin walks in LA??) trip to the bathroom. When I got out, friend is nowhere to be seen, I call, he's in VIP, tells me I just need to wave my bracelet, no problem. Walk up (more walking) to the bloated and crowded VIP/velvet rope section, obnoxious bouncer says (dead serious) "We're only letting celebrities in now." WTF??
A minute later, the friend who invited me walks up and I go in with him...as I walk by giving the bouncer a look of death, a woman gang rushes the line, knocks over said bouncer and RUNS INTO THE VIP room. Pandemonium—they "block off" the line, friend is stuck outside, and I escape to get more drinks like the friend-whore I am. Saw Point Pleasant girl, dry heaved every time James Wood dance-humped his way younger companion, Evan Rachel in a hideous early 90s crushed velvet monstrosity (she was amazing though, must say), good times.

And on a side note, was totally expecting good food at this thing, as have been spoiled by Defamer's premiere critic...perhaps to go with the theme of bulimic, catty high school girls, it was fitting that the only food I saw was a lone, mangled Twinkie. Overwhelmed by the night's most obvious metaphor, I got my ass back to the Arclight to pick up my car.

But this time I took a cab.

Lastly, here's another spy's cam-phone picture of James Woods "yukking it up" with people in the crowd, some of whom he would soon assist in exiting the the overbooked screening.

Defamer Party Report: "Persuasion" After-Party Like A Mangled Twinkie