We were very excited to read a story about a possibly imaginary creature, the "celibate celeb," but when we saw that the first words of the piece are "Britney Spears," we realized that this story must've been written in 1999 and mistakenly republished today. Our fears were confirmed when we noticed that Dr. Joyce Brothers* is quoted extensively in the piece.
Luckily, we found another wire story about what may or may not be going on with Demi Moore's uterus. Yay! The day is saved!
[*Kids, ask gammaw and granpaw!]