Things were so much simpler when we were kids. The weekday Times cost 35 cents. Rock lived at 102.7. And at 11:00 we'd all watch Al Roker tell us where it was raining, thanks to his handy-dandy Doppler 4.
But sunrise, sunset, and all that. Al moved to Today. God knows what happened to 102.7. And Doppler 4 was replaced by Doppler 4000, a preventive unilateral escalation presumably designed to keep any meteorological rivals from achieving Doppler supremacy.
Now it has happened. Say hello to — we kid you not — Channel 2's new Doppler 2 Million.
What scares us most about this crazy Doppler arms race is the possibility of loose Dopplers. Because one day advanced Doppler technology will fall into the hands of Fox 5.
And then it's all over.