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From what we can gather from various news stories, Defamer HQ is one of the last places still without power in the aftermath of the blackout. As we stood on the sidewalk, wondering why the traffic lights on the end of the street seemed to be fully operational while the beer in our refrigerator was in peril of going skunky, a miracle transpired: Kicking up to the front of our building on a commandeered Razor scooter was noted rescue specialist Sean Penn. There was little room left on his conveyance of mercy with the actor, a Rolling Stone journalist, and a wire service photographer crammed on board, but we climbed onto his broad shoulders, and he selflessly ferried us to the provisional HQ where we now sit. (He finds that picture of Elijah Wood just as off-putting as you do, by the way.)

We'll have to return to Defamer HQ momentarily to check if the power's back on—and to make sure that Penn hasn't ransacked the place; there was an impish glint in his eye when we'd mentioned the beer sitting in the fridge.

We'll be back shortly.