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Fresh tales of Desperate Housewives-related bitchery threaten to reopen the thousand paper-cuts of boredom inflicted on us by Sunday's Emmys. The folks at Open All Night expose a new round of red carpet shenanigans:

The “we’re all good friends” façade continues to crack on Wisteria Lane. As has been widely reported, Teri Hatcher failed to join her Desperate Housewives cast-mates in the Emmy Awards pressroom. And the previous night at L.A. Confidential’s party for cover girl Hatcher, Eva Longoria arrived late, and stood waiting, in full view at the end of the red carpet, until Teri had climbed into her car and driven off, before strolling in and posing for photos.

This ugliness can only—nay, it must—end in bloodshed. Our money's on Marcia Cross being the Last Housewife Standing. Something about her makes us feel like she's pretty handy with a shiv.