Eric Alterman, Michael Stipe, and Arianna Huffington walk into a bar...
On Wednesday night, Gawker publisher Nick Denton decided to be a little less selfish than usual and threw a soiree in honor of Arianna Huffington. The Huffington Post founder was in town to distribute air-kisses and feta cheese, which is as good of an excuse as any to fill Denton's loft with 500 billion of our closest frenemies. After the jump, media clusterfucking and chaos courtesy of staff pornographer Nikola Tamindzic.
The Times's Nick Confessore thinks you'd be pretty hot if you were just 10 pounds lighter.
Topic playboy David Haskell is crying on the inside.
Gawker publisher Nick Denton forces the crowd to listen to his accent. After this photo was taken, Arianna Huffington pushed him off of his pedestal and made some anal sex jokes. You guess who was more popular.
New York's go-to chronicler of teen trends, the brooding David Amsden, leers at a girl who, if he's lucky, is underage.
Gawker alum and current Transomexual Choire Sicha gives the Daily News' Ben Widdicombe a big, gay kiss.
If you were standing in the middle of this conversation between Gawker alum Elizabeth Spiers, Radar pimp Maer Roshan and Deep Throater Jacob Bernstein, you would be very, very bored.
Hard News junky Seth Mnookin pouts as Blogger co-founder Meg Hourihan muses about how she ruined everyone's lives.
Gawker gatecrasher Andrew Krucoff bugs the shit out of Radar's Remy Stern and New York's Carl Swanson.
The Sundance Channel's Samuel Paul makes you want to sleep with a nightlight.
Serena Torrey is more than New York's publicist. She is also a blonde, and on her way to a wet t-shirt contest.
"Oh my God, that is some wicked nitrous!"
New York's Jared Hohlt and Rolling Stone scribe Alex Mar ogle one another's breasts.
Salon's Kerry Lauerman cackles before eating the face of an innocent bystander.
Arianna Huffington can no longer listen to WWD's Jacob Bernstein tell the Mark Felt story without slamming a few drinks.
Tom Gross silently thanks God that Sivan Lewin didn't see him slipping those roofies in her drink.
Typically, the most fascinating conversations involve little or no eye contact between the participants.
Arianna Huffington explains to Gawker co-editor Jessica Coen that Manolos really are worth the money. Shortly thereafter, Coen used her own $20 Payless heels to attack Huffington and steal her overpriced stilettos, which ended up being 4 sizes too big.
Kate Lee is an agent. She represents bloggers, including Elizabeth Spiers. Elizabeth Spiers was the founding editor of Gawker.
Before night's end, Chelsea Peretti will be carrying Jakob Lodwick's seed.
Fredrik Carlstrom and Eva Wisten are very Swedish, wear fitted jeans, and love The Hives.
At one point, legendary drunk Anthony Haden-Guest told us we were "cut off." We consider this the highlight of our lives.
Daily News gossip Lloyd Grove clings to Huffington for dear life. "Please," he cries, "take me with you back to LA."