Trade Round-Up: Everybody Hates Joey

· UPN appears to have a hit on its hands with Everybody Hates Chris, producing "the highest opening-night numbers for a comedy in UPN's 10-year history," and outperforming NBC's Joey and Fox's The O.C. Joey writers look on in stunned bewilderment, wondering what more audiences could ask for than a semi-retarded protagonist making his way through a hackneyed world.[THR]
· Universal Pictures awards Joss Whedon a seven figure paycheck for Goner, "the story of a young woman's journey that involves a great deal of horror and some heroics." We applaud the audacity of this radical departure from the thematic content of his other projects, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the Wonder Woman movie. [Variety]
· Francis Ford Coppola announces a return to the director's chair after an eight-year hiatus with a "self-financed, low-budget pic to lense in Bucharest," Youth Without Youth. We understand Sofia pulled some strings to get him the gig, but he'll have to settle for names like "Tim Roth" and "Bruno Ganz" while his daughter lunches several notches above in Murray territory.[Variety]
· Martha Stewart's yawny Apprentice clone didn't connect with viewers, and her stock's price suffers. Perhaps next week she should try crumpling up that goodbye letter and shoving it down the loser's throat, in quite the same way she force feeds her geese to make delightful foie gras.[Variety]
· Robert Redford and Paul Newman unite once again on screen, as part of Sundance Channel's new six-part documentary profile series Iconoclasts. Ten minutes of the episode are devoted to Redford chewing Newman out for ruining The Hustler with that crappy Tom Cruise sequel. [Variety]