Having trouble keeping track of New York's intermittently homosexual, bed-hopping (floe-hopping, maybe?) penguin population? We were, too. So thanks much to the reader with a copy of Quark and much too much time on his or her hands, who sent in this handy guide:
Now if you could just map this out among the human homos we know, too, you'd really be helping us out. (We had a bit of a he-slept-with-him? scare just the other day.) But that, alas, is probably an impossible task.