Judd Apatow Keeps A Diary

40 Year-Old Virgin director Judd Apatow is keeping a diary on Slate this week, where he's been killing some downtime while producing the upcoming Will Ferrell NASCAR comedy in North Carolina by holding forth on such varied topics as the usefulness of Barney in the rearing of young children, Being Bobby Brown, and today, The Aging Comedy Writer Workout:

I am not into working out. I am 37 and have never been into working out with the intention of looking better. Now that I am older, I like the idea of working out with the intention of not dying before I hit 40. That is a much better motivator. [...]

But when I exercise, all I feel is resentment and anger. In fact, these people work me out so hard that I spend half the time figuring out ways to make them stop. I consider whether or not it would be worth it to let the treadmill fling me into the mirror behind me so I can end my workout early. Sometimes I will mention that I am dizzy, or have a pain in my arm, or any pre-heart-attack symptom so they will go easy on me. I have considered shitting my shorts to end it. I have considered faking a muscle tear in my shoulder. I have considered feigning double vision. Well, actually, I have said that a few times.

Yeah, it's not the most thrilling stuff, but if you pitched the entry with Ferrell as the guy shitting his pants and Ben Stiller as the psychotic trainer with a handlebar mustache who pushes the reluctant, flabby hero to body failure, Universal will probably hand you a check for $3 million.