Pamela Anderson's Stalker Needs An Agent

With its high density of seemingly sexually available actresses, the sleepy upscale beach town of Malibu has lately become a hotbed for stalkers. Recently, Jennifer Aniston obtained a restraining order for an unwanted love interest with bad timing, and now The Smoking Gun has Pamela Anderson's filing to prevent a British homeless man's future offers for creative collaboration:

3. I live in a gated community in Malibu. Mr. Stansfield has come to my neighborhood on several occasions and left various papers in my mailbox. These papers related to Mr. Stansfield's attempts to work with me. I have no intention of working with Mr. Stansfield. [...]

5...I had hoped that Mr. Stansfield would stop harassing us. However, on September 7, 2005, Mr. Stansfield's attempts to confront me and my family escalated. On that day, Mr. Stansfield appeared at the school that my sons attend... At the time I went down to get Dylan, I saw Mr. Stansfield standing over Dylan and talking to him. When I went to get Dylan away from him, he began talking to me, explaining that he wanted me to stop working the [sic] "Stacked" and work on a movie with a script that he had written for me.

This just illustrates how crucial it is to go through the proper channels to approach a star with a project. If the poor guy had only sent an agent to menace Anderson's children until she read his script instead of doing it himself, we might be reading about a deal in Variety instead of in court papers. After all, it's not like his work could've been any worse than an episode of Stacked, even if he wrote it entirely on a roll of toilet paper stolen from a gas station bathroom.