On Friday afternoon, US Weekly has once again laid waste to everything we thought we knew about romantic love. Strap yourselves in, grab a box of Kleenex and a large, plastic bottle of wino-quality whiskey, and listen to the sound of your heart rapidly turning to anthracite:
Paris Hilton tells Us Weekly exclusively that she has ended her five-month engagment [sic] to Greek shippping heir Paris Latsis.
In a statement to Us late Friday evening, Hilton said, “I'm sad to announce that I've called off my engagement. Over the last couple months I've realized that this is the right decision for me. We remain best of friends, and I'll always love him. I hope people will respect my privacy during this emotional time.”
Our spies tell us that Hilton's been profoundly affected by the break-up, and her call for privacy is sincere— while she tries to repair her self-esteem and convince herself that she's worthy of love, she's placing the five-man emergency team of paparazzi she carries around in her vagina on indefinite hiatus.
- In this week's issue [US Weekly]
- Previously: Popping The Paps: Inside A Paparazzi Ambush [Defamer]
