Kabbalah Makes Power-Play For Oprah

Hollywood's dueling celebrity-positive cults inclusionary spiritual inspiration societies may be locked in a high-stakes battle for Oprah Winfrey's eternal soul. While Scientology seems to have recently made a play for Winfrey's attention, everyone's favorite magic-water swillers/red-string models have brought out their big gun in hopes of beaming their Light™ directly into the minds of America's hausfraus:

Madonna has been talking up the mystical form of Judaism to the already-spiritual talk-show queen for two years, in hopes that her fellow icon could help bring the Artist Occasionally Known as Esther's belief system to mainstream America, according to our source.

The U.K.-based pop star has sent Oprah books and E-mails about kabbala, a spy tells us, but Angela De Paul in Oprah's office told us she wasn't aware that her boss had received any of the red-string propaganda.

In a country where conservative Christians have shown their might in recent years, an endorsement of kabbala by Winfrey, who has 9 million loyal viewers, would have a powerful effect. Her seal of approval has boosted everything from book sales to her own upcoming Broadway musical, "The Color Purple."

Madonna knows that, and that's why she's chosen Oprah's show for her first interview since she took a tumble off a horse, our source says.

It's expected to be quite the dramatic scene: The pop queen's valets will wheel out the Erstwhile Material Girl in a solid-gold wheelchair; while the Big O fawns over her guest's jewel-encrusted neckbrace, Madonna will explain how Kabbalah can help Oprah burn the Paris Hermes store to the ground by teaching her to meditate on God's "righteous spiritual arson" name.