Eisner Exits The Kingdom, Iger Will Have To Earn Pay

An SEC filing reveals that Michael Eisner has resigned his seat on Disney's board of directors and "no longer provides any services" for the company, seemingly killing our crazy hope that he'd one day serve us a piping-hot churro outside the Haunted Mansion. Our Mouse ears are limp with grief, etc etc. The filing also discloses details of new CEO Bob Iger's compensation package; after paying out hundreds of millions of dollars in salary and bonuses to Eisner over his two decade tenure, it looks like the company wants Iger to earn his coming fuck-you money:

Iger, whom Eisner endorsed as his replacement, will be paid a base annual salary of $2 million during his five-year contract and will be eligible for a performance-based bonus of at least $7.25 million a year. He also will be eligible for as much as $8 million a year in "equity-based long-term incentive awards" to be determined by the board of directors.

Iger also will receive a one-time grant of 500,000 shares of Disney stock that will begin vesting in 2008 — but only if the stock outperforms the Standard & Poor's 500 index and if Iger meets other, unspecified goals set by the board's compensation committee.

Corporate compensation experts said Iger's deal meant that if he didn't perform, he wouldn't get paid the big bucks.

Given the scrutiny that executive compensation deals have recently undergone, the hurdles that Iger must clear to earn his performance-based bonuses are formidable. For example, to collect his first $10 million dollar award, on the day of his six-month review, Iger must ride Space Mountain three times with his eyes closed—and here's the clincher—without crying "in the manner of a five year-old girl." He's never going to see that money.