Courtesy of Media Guy Simon Dumenco and Marjorie Ingall, it's the Metropolitan Diary Drinking Game! When reading the Times' thoroughly modern column, simply take a shot each time:
• privileged children say the darnedest things (do an extra shot if they say them loudly on public transportation)
• a heartwarming encounter shows that New York really is a small town at heart
• an elderly poet shares light verse about the weather
• humor is found in kookily misspelled deli signs
• homeless people say the darnedest things (do half a shot if darnedest thing is said by a working-class person, such as a doorman or shopgirl)
• and then the cabdriver refused to take my money!
If you're ready to play at a more advanced level, feel free to enact the Gawker Addendum: Every time someone fails to miss or skip a beat, add one sugar cube of Alpha-O to your drink.