Save Jesus

Okay, we realize we re basically talking to ourselves here, but Yom Kippur is no excuse for the paltry amount of readers tips coming in today. For shame, Unchosen Ones, for shame. We know you're there at your desk not doing any work (because we can see you — you may want to rethink that shirt, by the way). Therefore, we re taking matters into our own steepled hands to encourage you to send us more juicy emails. Since it just so happens that one of us has a parakeet named Jesus, we ve decided that unless the tips starting rolling in, Jesus is going down. You have till the stroke of 5:00. What would Jesus do? He would send us links to Britney's homemade porno and guesses about which rapper likes to eat manloaf. So start acting more Christ-like or the 'keet gets it.