By now, you may have figured out that Defamer has been plagued by technical difficulties (read: Nick Denton failed to transfer protection monies from secret Caymanian tax shelter to Hungarian Mob-run server company) all afternoon. We wish that the abrupt interruption of content was due to our drinking of a bottle of absinthe and relaxing in the "jacuzzi" (a large pothole filled with rainwater on the street outside Defamer HQ), but we were all out of absinthe. (Note to intern: messenger over a case of the stuff and a rubber duckie in case the problems reappear tomorrow.) Enjoy this smattering of end-of-the-day links until we return in the morning:
· If Details is to be believed, Chris Klein wasn't sent on an all-expenses paid trip to the Antarctica Celebrity Centre after ex-fiancée Katie Holmes found her true soulmate. Klein's totally out there and getting crazy laid, bro.
· Scotty's remains are getting launched into space. Accordingly, when William Shatner passes on, his ashes will be placed between the thighs of a nymphomaniac semihumanoid female alien.
· People will soon bestow its greatest honor, "The Sexiest Man Alive (Who Isn't Afraid Of Having His Career Or Love Life Destroyed By The Cover Jinx)." This is looking like Vin Diesel's lucky year!
· Suicidal celebrities, take note: If you follow through and tragically take your own life, your obit will inevitably reference your IMDb profile.