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In this episode: Lindsay Lohan and Pat O'Brien; Steve Carell; Philip Seymour Hoffman; Marcia Cross; Teri Hatcher and Eddie Cibrian; Zach Braff, Mandy Moore, and Elizabeth Banks; Danny DeVito; Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson, Bruce Vilanch, and Judy Greer; Adam Brody and Corbin Bernsen; Mischa Barton; Ben McKenzie and Mary Stuart Masterson; Janeane Garofalo, David Schwimmer, and Joey Slotnick; Jay Leno; Madelaine Stowe and Jon Favreau; Frankie Muniz; Chloë Sevigny; Tara Reid; Zach Braff, Donald Faison, and Heather Graham; David Hasselhoff; Bobby Brown; Michael Rappaport; Daphne Zuniga; Danny Bonaduce, Donovan Leitch, and Andy Dick; Danny Bondaduce x2; Tori Spelling x2; Sherilyn Fenn and Angie Dickinson; Enrique Murciano; Bryan Cranston; Xzibit; Leonard Nimoy; Tom McGowan; Christopher Knight, Adrienne Curry and an orgy of reality types; Richie the Trainer.
· I was at Barneys on Saturday pretending I was fabulous when I spotted LaLohan herself talking to Mr. Pat O'Brien. At first I thought it was some sort of segment being taped for whatever show he's on now, but no, they happened to just bump into each other coincidentally. Scandalous. Ms. Lohan was in the purse department with two friends looking pretty. Pat was with a clingy lady friend...does he have a wife??? Anyway, I overheard Pat saying that he was happy she was okay. She replied that yes, she was. So, now the world knows that LaLohan is in fact, okay.
· Post AIDS Walk sighting: Saw Steve Carell with his gorgeous wife and adorable children at the Beverly Center on Sunday. He's taller and more attractive in person.
· Waiting and waiting and waiting in line for lunch at Joan's on Third, who should saddle up behind me but a disheveled Philip Seymour Hoffman with a shrewish looking blond friend. PSH was in full successful-working-actor-trying-to-keep-it-real-for-the- unemployed- average-folk look with bed head and rumpled t-shirt and shorts. Much taller and thicker than one might expect for someone who'll win an Oscar for playing a fey dwarf. Lots of knowing looks and whispering amongst the affected and wanna-be affected Hollywoodese, but he was otherwise allowed to enjoy his meal (on the sidewalk in full public view, no less) in peace.
· So I just went in to Bed Bath and Beyond (on Olympic), you know nice little saturday planned, and who else had the same thought but Marcia "my crazy gay boyfriend killed my TV husband" Cross! She walked in right behind me, alone, in a black hoodie, normal gap-esque jeans and a pink floppy hat. She looked great. Not as tall as she looks next to the midget housewives and not a drop of make-up. Her skin is very very white. I managed a peak in her cart and saw a pillow and something from Black and Decker. I didn't see her throw one hissy fit. However, while in the check-out line I was horrified to watch her leave her shoping cart unattended! Fortunately she came right back, and with a jumbo box of Dots candy! I kinda love her now.
· Teri Hatcher driving a big Lexus SUV on Lankershim headed towards Ventura Blvd yesterday (10/14) afternoon. Looking hot, windows rolled up, air conditioning blasting due to the sweltering heat Eddie Cibriani at Koo Koo Roo on Riverside, Burbank (also 10/14) Looking so hot in a green t and jeans chatting on his cell phone and glancing around to see who recognized him.
· Saturday night at the 925 show of THE SQUID AND THE WHALE at the Sunset 5, I entered the theatre with my giant box of Mike & Ike's and took my seat. Two minutes later, Zach Braff and Mandy Moore planted themselves directly behind me. While I marveled at the size of his schnoz, I noticed another somewhat recognizable face sit in the seats directly adjacent to the Scrub. My friend recognized her as Elizabeth Banks of minor Spiderman fame. The weird thing is that she and Zach Braff looked at each other and then began speaking with a "Oh, hey, I recognize you..." Celebrities can introduce themselves to other celebrities solely based on celebrity, it seems...
· Saw Danny DeVito sitting in first class on the Sunday 10/16 flight from Boston to LA, wearing his ubiquitous Jersey Films hat. A gracious flight attendant allowed me to use the first class bathroom, and as I headed back to my cramped seat in coach, I admired all that extra legroom up there and realized that it was all a bit wasted on Mr. Devito. The man is truly tiny and probably could have fit in the overhead bin. Interestingly, the inflight movie was Batman Begins. I didn t hear any penguin squawks emanating from first class.
· friday night (10/14) at midnight, i am in my pajamas, housesitting for a friend, bemoaning the fact that i never see famous people when in LA. my sister texts me that rachel bilson and adam brody are sitting on a couch at a party of 20 people 5 minutes away. within minutes i'm in high heels, clicking my way up the street, only to see seth and summer exiting said party. fuckfuckfuck! luckily, they had to walk right by me so i could stalk. they seemed happy and cute, still in love (despite Star's reports of a zach braff hookup to the contrary). adam was typically and adorably cohen-esque, dressed in something emo-prep, looking like a beanstalk. a beanstalk i need to feed then have sex with. she is miniscule—like, literally child sized—and was dressed fashionably in a vest over some peasant top with skinny jeans and boots...exactly the look every other dirty haired hipster at the party was trying to rock. (this look has to go away, people. pretty girls are wearing tight, PEGGED JEANS and ugly beige colors and FUR VESTS. it's a veritable cameltoe-fest of fug). saturday night (10/15) saw bruce vilanch at prizzi's, the italian restaurant across from the celebrity [scientology] centre. his hair looks like a haystack erupted on his head. it was horrific. we all spent far too long discussing whether he was still relevant, comedically. the consensus among us was no, but our dinner companion kept saying, "well, I think he's hysterical. and besides, he writes for whoopi goldberg and he was on hollywood squares, so that's something." sunday morning while grabbing soy lattes at Ammo, my sister said, "there's that actress that keeps getting all your parts," and there she was—the adorably "quirky" judy greer who has MUCH smaller eyebags than have appeared in her films. i geeked it up on my way out and told her i loved her and that she was great. she looked much prettier and dewier and lovelier in person than in the movies. i ended up wanting to revive the flailing and nonexistent acting career i left behind years ago. either that or get botox.
· At the Grove on Saturday the first sighting was a very leathery, but buff Corbin Bernsen yuckin' it up with the ladies outside of Nordstrom. Then it's onto Anthropologie where a very svelte and husky-voiced Kirstie Ally was rummaging through racks of Joe's Jeans. Seriously, she looked great. Then a gaggle of kids came and whisked her off to the movies. After a day of shopping, we decided to dine on one of the outdoor patio restaurants. And who do we spot - totally celebrity incognito style complete with hat and sunglasses? A veeeerrry skinny Adam Brody! Hot, but very tiny.
· Madeleine Stowe in the (very long) line at Sprinkles cupcake cafe in BH. She was in baggy, drab, mismatched (i.e. non-Juicy) sweats with Morticia Addams hair and complexion. Very skinny. Giant sunglasses. I hope she had 10 cupcakes, and then a shower and a nap. Also, saw Jon Favreau and lovely wife at synagogue on the holiest day of the year, Yom Kippur. Feels very unholy to write about it here, but I'll just apologize for it next Yom Kippur. He looked beefy.
· Misha Barton at Mr. Chow Thursday. At a big table. don't really have anything to say about it except i had to ask my aunt not to go over for her autograph.
· Saw Mary Stuart Masterson at Starbucks at Sunset and Gower today [10/18] looking fairly plebeian, despite chatting on her cellphone about upcoming directing and writing projects. Last week I saw Benjamin McKenzie picking up a soy latte at the same location. Now if I can get someone from 90210, Degrassi (any generation), and the Outsiders I will have a teen genre celebrity spotting B-I-N-G-O.
· Saturday night (10/15) at Prego in Beverly Hills. Jay Leno was the denim-clad head king of a table of about 10 people. His wife was there as were a bunch of small children (who didn't look like Jay or his wife). They were finishing as we sat down so he escorted the brood out of the place shortly, thereafter. I'm happy to report there were no open-engine cars or motorcycles seated at the table.
· Last night s Trainwreck (Kyle Gass of Tenacious D s other band) show at the Viper Room was packed with celebrity goodness. Janeane Garofalo was definitely into the music while David Schwimmer, Joey Slotnick, and the cute guy from the American version of the Office were hanging out near the back. The guy who plays Marshall on Alias is the normal drummer but I guess he s busy filming so he stayed in the audience for all but one song. Good times.
· Today, Wednesday, I spent my lunch hour inside of Jo Ann Fabrics in the valley, trying to get a refund on a presser foot that wasn't the right fit for my sewing machine. No, I am not 80 years old, I am just trying to sew the most kick-ass Halloween costume ever. I hear someone shouting excitedly about a different holiday than the one I am focused on/obsessed with. All I hear is Christmas accompanied by some minor jumping up and down. It's Frankie Muniz and Jamie, the souvenir fiancée from New Orleans, admiring all the sewing machines. She was the one shouting. She looked great in a little black dress with lace back and sleeves and he was in matching black pants and jacket. They're both very tiny people. He looked bored and possibly even embarrassed to be there, but Jamie was glowing with warm thoughts of Santa and gingerbread things. I think I was the only person in the entire store who not only has her own teeth, but also recognized them.
· On a late thursday evening, I saw Chloë Sevigny shopping at the local Whole Foods. The person she was with is quite interesting. Well interesting if you consider it was or maybe it's more correct to say is Kirsten Dunst's ex boyfriend. No not Jake, the non actor who got his share of the spotlight over the summer. Anyone who's partied with Fred at the local clubs knows that he has stated on numerous occasions that Vincent Gallo and Harmony Korine are his biggest influences, so maybe dating Chloe is naturally the next step and it doesn't seem that far off to me. Well maybe aside from the 11 year age difference, but age is just a number anyway is it not? or maybe the saying is that it's a state of mind. Well either way, if they're actually together or just friends. You have to admit it makes an interesting story considering the Jake, Kirsten, and Chloe connection. As in Jake and Chloe being connected through the Zodiac movie, and Kirsten being connected to Jake, and well now her ex being with Chloe. It's a love triangle, well actually this one looks more like a circle.
· Saw Tara Reid at El Compadre on Sunset last Sunday night (10/9). She was sitting at the bar with some
nondescript guy. Sadly, she looked and acted totally normal, wearing a black motocycle jacket and sipping a margarita. Everyone pretty much left her alone, except my boyfriend and me who kept staring at her...they left shortly after we arrived.
· Last night at the Hotel Cafe Tour show at the El Rey, I spotted Zach Braff, Donald Faison and Heather Graham. They were there together with a couple of non-famous pals and were hanging out back by the bar. Braff gives off less of a Ray Romano, Jr. vibe in person, and is taller and not-as-skinny as I would have expected.
· I was at Koji's at Hollywood and Highland Saturday night when a very tall, very tan, very drunk man walked by the table. I said to my
friend, "Was that David Hasselhoff?" We agreed the guy was too skinny to be The Hass but my friend decided to follow him to the men's room to make sure. He went into the men's room to pretend to adjust his contact and came face-to-face with Knight Rider himself coming out of a stall. David looked him up and down, then walked out of the bathroom without washing his hands. At a sushi place. Yuk.
About an hour later, David was leaving and a man jumped up and actually said, "LOOK GIRLS, IT'S DAVID HASSELHOFF!" A group of about
12 girls, all aged probably 15-18, literally screamed and ran up to him to take pictures. He asked them where they were visiting for,
posed for pictures, and generally seemed like a nice enough guy. After he left, I heard a couple of the girls asking where she was supposed
to know him from. One of them replied, "He was in the SPONGEBOB movie!!!"
· Saw Bobby Brown plus a number of people I can only assume to be his entourage (I recognized some from his reality TV show) lounging at the bar at the Four Seasons on Saturday night. He wore sunglasses. Indoors. At night.
· I was driving down Beverly on Tuesday evening, and saw some guy fishing his wee, helmet-ed, skate-boarding child out of the gutter in front of the hotel next to Swingers. It was Michael Rappaport! I watched them for a while as the traffic went nowhere, and he seems to be a very watchful, good dad. How nice for the little Rappaportlettes.
· I passed Daphne Zuniga walking down S. Beverly Drive yesterday morning. As I was walking toward her, I wondered why this woman with coke-bottle-thick glasses wouldn't watch where she was going, but was looking around every other direction in a paranoid manner. After I smiled as I passed and she wouldn't smile back, I realized she was an actress. It took a drive past the Sony lot this morning and the huge poster for "Beautiful People" to figure out who it was. I can't figure out if being an American Dreams fan, I should be embarassed by that or just sad for her.
· Ok - so I went to the Arclight on Thurs. to see Wallace & Gromit during the day (ahhh, the benefits of unemployment) and stood right behind Donovan Leitch (sp.?) in line. He was seeing W&G too (sans any companion might I add). After the movie let out, I watched Donovan float away into Blackberry Land (he was out the door as the first credit rolled), but my sightings were not over. For who did I see busting out of a movie with a cigarette already dangling out of his mouth? Mr. red-headeded train wreck himself, Danny "Breakin'" Bonaduce. He was with his wife and they decided to just chill outside the theatre and have a heart to heart.
Ahhh, as I felt my day winding down, I headed home to nearly run smack dab into one shirtless Andy Dick jogging on Rosewood Ave.! He looked like he was with his trainer, but should rather visit his stylist since he was wearing BLACK socks with sneakers! Ughhh....
· Thursday 10/13, 1:45pm, I saw Danny Bonaduce walking down Sunset from Amoeba to the Arclight entrance. He
was wearing jeans and a black t-shirt. Wait, what I meant was, he was wearing jeans and HOLDING a black t-shirt. Yes, that's right. He wasn't wearing a shirt at all. Silly me. What a funny mistake to have forgotten that I saw Danny Bonaduce's weird, inexplicably shirtless chest on my lunch break. I also forgot to vomit. I'll do that now.
· Danny Bonaduce waiting for his ride outside Rokbar, Friday night. He was with a hot young thing who obviously doesn't watch "Breaking Bonduce" or she wouldn't come within fifty feet of him. He was also sporting a lot of leather, and saggy tattoos. Sick.
· I saw a tired-looking Tori Spelling laying out at the pool at the roosevelt hotel this weekend, with some weathered, blonde, chainsmoking girllfriends. She seemed kind of grimy, and she depressed me.
· Last night (10/12) Pre Yom Kippur dinner I imagine, saw Tori Spelling and male (new boyfriend??) at Target in West Hollywood. She looked, well, skinny - no surprise and the new boyfriend, husband replacement, whatever had a huge bandage over his eye, ouch, it looked painful. She was leading him around checking out towels and such, looking totally in charge but that might have been because he only had one working eye. Or maybe not!
· Hiking up Fryman Canyon I noticed a woman who looked vaguely like Elizabeth Taylor in her younger years – a closer stare revealed Sherilyn Fenn – looking decidedly “normal,” and proving that, in fact, everyone does get old sooner or later and that may be the only thing worth knowing. She was average height, and surprisingly average weight – not super thin, chatting with a “non-professional.” Speaking of growing old gracefully, caught the Policewoman herself, Angie Dickinson shopping at Trader Joe’s in Studio City – we all should look so good at her age. She was wearing khakis and sunglasses, thumbing through the chicken section.
· Real-Time Celebrity Sighting, typed from the communal PC at Equinox Santa Monica, 5:55pm, Wednesday, today. Enrique Murciano, from "Without a Trace", working out on the third floor. Rather hot, I must say. I get all the "B Listers."
· This definitely borders on obscure, but saw actor Bryan Cranston eating dinner at the Grove on Sat night (10/15). Apparently I stopped watching sitcoms in the 90's, because instead of recognizing him for his current role as the dad on Malcom in the Middle, I remembered him immediately as the recurring Dr. Tim Watley character from Seinfeld.
· Saw Xzibit (I just had to look up the spelling of his name - how sad!) a couple of weeks ago at the
Coldstone at the Beverly Connection. I didn't recognize him, but my BF, who is awesome at spotting celebrities, picked him out of the line right away. He was with a girl, and seemed really down-to-earth and pleasant. They waited patiently in line, and then he signed an autograph for a couple of kids...it was pretty cute.
· Let's hope submitting a Yom Kippur PW doesn't unwittingly remove myself from having been re-inscribed (hopefully) in G-d's book. I
atoned for my sins yesterday with Member of the Tribe and of Temple Israel of Hollywood — Leonard Nimoy. Pretty cool to hear the story of Jonah read by Mr. Nimoy and his wife as part of the afternoon service. No surprise but excellent live dramatic readers, those two.
· Ok, so before Judd Apatow was 40 yr. old Virgin cool, he Exec-Produced and co-wrote a fabu, yet under the radar film called Heavyweights. This cinematic masterpiece about kids at fat camp not only starred Ben Stiller, but also Tom McGowan, who is the magical sighting that I had today (10/18). Ahh yes, to dream of him as Pat Finley, the portly and pasty Camp Hope counselor in Heavyweights came true today when I saw him crossing the street just outside Warner Bros. Studios. Maybe a Heavyweights 2 is in the works? Ahhh, a girl can dream, can't she?
· The Dr. Tattoff tattoo removal people- run by Chris Knight from that VH1 show had a party at their new store Saturday. And along with the expected doctors and financial wankers was an insane mix of boob-jobbed eye candy girls, TV and film producers and all these weird C-lebrities:, Chris Knight’s girlfriend Adrienne Curry, Dolce/Geisha House restaurant owner and Big Brother guy Mike Malin, the dude from Survivor that told everyone his Grandmother died (Johnny Fairplay?), Pamela from The Apprentice (being dry-humped by Fairplay in the front window), and a very bulky “The Miz” picking on one of the Average Joe dudes. A classic moment? When someone mistook Big Brother’s Dr. Will Kirby’s former squeeze Josie Davis (Charles in Charge) for his current, Erin Brody (For Love or Money winner). Josie was so mad that she stormed out of the party leaving Will all by himself.
· I saw Richie, the less-than-royal personal trainer, from VH1 reality greatness "Love is in the Heir." He was standing outside Club B in Hollywood, waiting to be let in. I was going to introduce myself, but he was staring into thin air really intensely, and it freaked me out.