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So you're a Woody Allen fan. A big Woody Allen fan, even. And though his last handful of movies have sucked so much you still haven't been able to bring yourself too see Melinda & Melinda, and you've blocked nearly all memory of Anything Else, you still love the early, deep comedies, and the '80s dramas, and the late-'90s light comedies. And he was so, so good on the Oscars — his first one ever! — after September 11. And, because of all that genius, you're willing to look past a lot of his mishegas.

And so for a decade or so you've been defending him, sort of. Soon-Yi wasn't his daughter. They had no legal relationship. And he and Mia were never married. And Mia's a little crazy, anyway, what with all the adopting. And, anyway, again, Soon-Yi wasn't his daughter.

Then this shows up in today's Daily News:

Woody Allen may be Soon-Yi Previn's husband, but he's still her daddy.

"It's got a more paternal feeling to it," the reclusive director tells Vanity Fair of his once-scandalous romance.

And you finally realize: Shit, that dude's fucked up.

My Love for Soon-Yi Springs Paternal: Allen [NYDN]