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• Christian Slater, forced to give up his New York hobby of ass-groping, heads to West Hollywood, where he supplements his diet of misbehavior by falling off of Paris Hilton's roof. [People]
• Can we not take a tip from our friends across the pond and offer amnesty for those commuters caught reading embarrassing books? [Friday Project]
• Kate Moss grabs the December cover of Vanity Fair, making it all the more meta when you inevitably use your copy for cutting lines. [Jossip]
Sex and the City's advertising campaign continues to skank all over Manhattan. [Gothamist]
• Justin Timberlake is being blamed for ruining Shrek 3. Funny: We thought Shrek 2 ruined the franchise. Aw, were we mean to the cute wittle cartoons? [Radar]
• Jesse Sheidlower literally cannot stand your incorrect usage of the word "literally." [Slate]
• For those of you poor spinsters so pathetic as to not land real engagement rings, Daily Candy suggests wearing a fake. [DailyCandy]