Because the world might stop spinning if the public had no way to find out that Chris O'Donnell is much better at keeping a drive on the fairway than a show on the air, Golf Digest has ranked Hollywood's top 100 golfers. And unsurprisingly, Tom Cruise had to buy his way onto the list:
Dennis Quaid is the top golfer among the Hollywood set. Tea Leoni is the best among the women. Tom Cruise is awful at golf, but he tips the caddies well. [...]
Cruise hardly ever plays golf and was ranked last at No. 100 — but that doesn't stop him from regularly handing out $100 bills to caddies at Bel-Air.
While Cruise credits Scientology with helping him defeat a learning disorder, it seems that L. Ron Hubbard never developed a study tech to assist his followers in reading a left-right break. No matter how many times Cruise personally—personally!—stands over a makeable ten-footer, even with his best Sea Org caddy on the flag, the world's most famous OT VII yipper still can't shake those stubborn three-putt thetans.