Tom Cruise Needs To Work On His Putts

Because the world might stop spinning if the public had no way to find out that Chris O'Donnell is much better at keeping a drive on the fairway than a show on the air, Golf Digest has ranked Hollywood's top 100 golfers. And unsurprisingly, Tom Cruise had to buy his way onto the list:

Dennis Quaid is the top golfer among the Hollywood set. Tea Leoni is the best among the women. Tom Cruise is awful at golf, but he tips the caddies well. [...]

Cruise hardly ever plays golf and was ranked last at No. 100 — but that doesn't stop him from regularly handing out $100 bills to caddies at Bel-Air.

While Cruise credits Scientology with helping him defeat a learning disorder, it seems that L. Ron Hubbard never developed a study tech to assist his followers in reading a left-right break. No matter how many times Cruise personally—personally!—stands over a makeable ten-footer, even with his best Sea Org caddy on the flag, the world's most famous OT VII yipper still can't shake those stubborn three-putt thetans.