Team Party Crash: Teen Factory for Elton John AIDS Foundation

Smells like teen spirit.
If only we had friends like Lexi Lehman when we were 16. The Lizzie Grubman PR intern invited dozens of her closest friends to attend the Andy Warhol Factory Party she helped organize at the Altman Building on Saturday night to benefit the Elton John AIDS Foundation. Alas, we spent the majority of our adolescence sniffing glue while sitting in after-school detention. Our invites to parties like this must have been lost in the mail. Thankfully, we're post-college and technically adults, which means we scored a golden ticket to Saturday night's event and forced kiddie-porn fanatic Intern Neel to go in our place. After the jump, his reportage, with underage photos from staff voyeur Nikola Tamindzic.

[Nikola's full gallery from the event is available here.]

Team Party Crash: Teen Factory for Elton John AIDS Foundation

The PTA later came to dominate NYC nightlife.

Within this "party" we were so forced to attend, a number of curious dichotomies played out: there was a lot of booze, but no one old enough to legally drink it. There was Constantine from American Idol surrounded by a gaggle of female admirers, but no one old enough for him to legally sleep with. There was Merlin Bronques from lastnightsparty.com, but no one in possession of breasts old enough for him to legally photograph.

Team Party Crash: Teen Factory for Elton John AIDS Foundation

"Mom says that when I turn 17, I can pose for the Cobrasnake!"

Team Party Crash: Teen Factory for Elton John AIDS Foundation

Make no mistake: She will not be going home alone tonight.

Team Party Crash: Teen Factory for Elton John AIDS Foundation

Three days later, Darla began to accept that her Halloween makeup would not wash off.

Team Party Crash: Teen Factory for Elton John AIDS Foundation

Just add a Ouija board, and you've got a party.

The whole Young Kids Dancing as Befuddled Adults Look On From the Periphery thing was not unlike the Long Island Bar Mitzvahs we used to frequent back in the day, minus the contingent of derelicts chugging warm Popov s vodka behind a dumpster in the parking lot.

Team Party Crash: Teen Factory for Elton John AIDS Foundation

Team Party Crash: Teen Factory for Elton John AIDS Foundation

Team Party Crash: Teen Factory for Elton John AIDS Foundation

Team Party Crash: Teen Factory for Elton John AIDS Foundation

Team Party Crash: Teen Factory for Elton John AIDS Foundation

On our way out, a friend of ours undertook a last-ditch effort to recruit some female companionship for the night and sauntered over to a striking brunette sitting by her lonesome. He returned a few minutes later, somewhat dejected.

What happened? we asked. She have a boyfriend?

Worse. He pointed to a girl with braces dancing provocatively to Gwen Stefani s Hollaback Girl, or as provocativlely as a girl with braces is able to dance. A kid. Who happens to be right there.

Cue exit stage right.

Team Party Crash: Teen Factory for Elton John AIDS Foundation

Team Party Crash: Teen Factory for Elton John AIDS Foundation

Team Party Crash: Teen Factory for Elton John AIDS Foundation

Team Party Crash: Teen Factory for Elton John AIDS Foundation

Team Party Crash: Teen Factory for Elton John AIDS Foundation

Team Party Crash: Teen Factory for Elton John AIDS Foundation

Someone's up past their bedtime.