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Not-yet-launched Time Warner-AOL entertainment site has sent out an e-mail blast about Paris Hilton's crack-up outside Hollywood club Element late last night, complete with pictures (click the image above to enlarge). Hilton's shipping-heir-of-the-moment, noted stunt-driver Stavros Niarchos, was apparently behind the wheel, and given the location of the accident and the candor of one of the passengers (a Laguna Beach cast member, naturally), the gang was chased not by the paparazzi, but by a giant bottle of Grey Goose. Says the press release: captured video of Paris Hilton and her boyfriend, Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos involved in an accident outside L.A. hotspot Element early Wednesday morning around 2:30 a.m. Also in the car were Kimberly Stewart, Rod Stewart’s daughter, and Talan Torriero, star of MTV’s “Laguna Beach.”

The video shows Stavros in the driver seat of a Bentley hitting a truck, causing damage to the car. After a few seconds, the car speeds away, NARROWLY missing a bystander on the street. Soon after, TMZ cameras spot the car pulled over by the police, with all occupants standing outside the vehicle. At one point TMZ captures on the tape Talan telling police “I’m the only sober one, let’s just go.” also captures Paris blowing a kiss to the cops as she says “We love the police.”

There is no evidence on tape that the police ever conducted field sobriety tests on the driver.

Why would the cops break out the Breathalizer? There's nothing even slightly suspicious about a car full of professional party monkeys smashing a Bentley into the back of a truck outside of a club at 2:30 a.m. In fact, we're pretty sure the valet service at Element will plow your vehicle into the stationary object of your choice for a ten dollar surcharge. Wrecking your own ride is so five minutes ago.