Stallone Is Going To Make A Comeback, Oh Yes, Even If The Shame Kills Us All

You can hear the whispers and read the stories all you like, but the horror never truly feels real until you start seeing the pathetic ads in the trades.

You might need to refresh Variety's homepage 50 or 60 times to see it, but it's hiding in there somewhere, like a deranged POW waiting for you to fall into a pit full of deadly pungee sticks.