30-year-old Darcy Smith (left) of South Orange is hot. So hot, in fact, that she can't even knock back a $15 cosmo without being constantly hit on by the suave gentlemen of New York nightlife. Weary of being asked to dance and offered drink after tiresome drink, Smith put a posting on Craigslist looking for a security guard to accompany her and her friends during their nights out on the town. Enter 315-pound Brendan Reed, one of three bodyguards Smith hired to keep the lady-killers at bay. Now, thanks to her personal security detail, Smith can pretend she's J-Lo and enjoy a night out with her girlfriends at Spirit.

Private Bouncer [NYP]

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