Defamer Connections: Lonely Writer Needs Hot Lady For Impressing Colleagues

We at Defamer realize that it's often quite difficult for successful TV writers to find suitably exotic arm candy while spending their best years locked up in a sitcom writers' room, that virtual hermetically sealed sausage chamber jam-packed with white dudes making dead baby jokes while waiting for the Nerf ball to finally come their way. We spotlight this anonymous message in a Craigslist bottle in hopes that we can help one lonely guy find someone sufficiently "presentable" to drag along to industry events, hopefully saving him some money on the extortionist prices levied by top-shelf escort services:

Successful producer seeks exotic arm candy for industry events/parties - m4w I'm the real deal... I live and work in Los Angeles where I'm a writer/producer, primarily specializing in sitcoms, but I've done it all including animation and, yes, the dreaded reality. I've got tons of credits of shows you've seen and loved...or hated. What can I say? It's television., or as I like to say, chewing gum for the eyes.

I'm looking for someone fun, attractive and intelligent who is very sexy yet presentable in social situations and able to converse with others without embarrassing herself—or worse—me.

It wouldn't hurt if you are interested in the entertainment business, but that's not necessary as long as you're outgoing, adventurous and have a good sense of humor. I'm open to all races as long as you are fit and under 30.

Here's a little about me. I'm 6', late 30s, 175 pds, dark brown hair, deep blue eyes, very fit, well-toned. I hit the gym often, and enjoy staying in shape. I'm casual, down-to-earth, easy to talk to, fun-loving, generous, open-minded.

If we make a connection, I'm open to any kind of relationship—from strictly platonic, to friends with benefits, to well....the sky's the limit if we click on a physical /metaphysical level. In any event, if we do go out, you're sure to have fun and meet some interesting people, myself included.

Pics, of course, are a must.

We can't stress it enough, ladies: Be presentable! No gum-snapping, trashy hoo-ers for his plus-one. He'd never live it down in The Room.