Yes, yes, we read the "news" this morning just as you did, and sure, our stomach did the same little shit-spasm as yours: Kimberly Stewart, daughter of much-doppelganged singer Rod Stewart and Talan Torriero from MTV's quasi-reality show Laguna Beach, are engaged. It's a whoretastic match was made in D-list heaven.
Stewart tells Us Weekly her ring "is almost too big. It's beautiful." According to People, a friend of Torriero says, "He told me he really likes her and they're having a good time." They're having such a good time, in fact, that they've already postponed their Vegas wedding.
Celebrity weekly scorecard: Us has a quote from Stewart and the Vegas details, whereas People has standard publicist fare. But timing is everything, and People posted the story at 6:00 A.M., leaving Us in the dust at 6:49 A.M. People wins this one, while the rest of America loses.