Yeah, we know, the Starbucks-endorsed Hollywood couple of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner had their baby girl yesterday. We just didn't care, really: a new life born into the pantheon of celebrity offspring? Bah. They had to induce labor — yawn!
Our personal malaise aside, we'd be remiss if we didn't briefly update you all on the most important aspect of this otherwise unexciting story: the baby's name is Violet. Which isn't quite as dowdy as Hazel, nor as weird as Apple, but still not, you know, completely normal. Could this signify a new happy medium in celebrity baby names?
Anyhow, mazel tov to all. And our sincere condolences to those celebrity weekly staffers charged with scoring the baby pics — no one can relax when Bonnie Fuller is hungry for the taste of baby flesh.