Gossip Roundup: Aw, Britney — Not the Ferrari!

• Increasingly tired of footing the bill for her baby daddy's chav-luxe lifestyle, Britney Spears is attempting to repossess the $200k Ferrari she bought for husband Kevin Federline. We assume she'll still pay for his current room and board at the Beverly Hills Hotel, however, which kinda takes away from the effect of his punishment. [Page Six]
• Predictably, the source of the rumors of Jessica Simpson's infidelity may have come from her assistant, CaCee. Never trust someone who can't spell her own name right. [Lowdown]
• If Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes's virgin birth produces a son, will that make him Scientology's baby Jesus? [Scoop]
• It's not that we're bothered by supermodel Gisele Bundchen's insistence that her ass remain covered. It's that she consistently refers to it as her "booty." [Page Six]
• At the Museum of Moving Image's tribute to Ron Howard, an impromptu roast of Russell Crowe ensues. Maybe Russell wouldn't have stolen the spotlight if Opie weren't so damn boring. [R&M]