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Like a frontier family that continually squeezes out young 'uns to help work the land and keep the rest of the brood alive, Gawker Media has birthed yet another blog, The Consumerist*. Its mission statement:

Each day The Consumerist will guide you through the delinquencies of retail and service organizations. The Consumerist will highlight the persistent, shameless boners of modern consumerism — and the latest hot deals, discounts, and freebies around.

Join us. You’ll tell us when you’ve been royally screwed by yet another company, and we’ll channel your rage. Together we will storm the revolving doors of faceless corporations to call them naughty words for genitals, and they will begin to fear us.

The Consumerist is helmed by former Gizmodo editor Joel Johnson, who will undoubtedly adapt his unquestioned mastery of technology-related sodomy jokes to this brave, new world. won't know what hit it moments before it starts squealing like a pig, and AOL's customer services reps will be waking up with the night-sweats for months. We welcome Joel back into the family, and remind him that union dues should be in by the first of the month.

[*Please note—and there's been some confusion about this lately—that this site has never been named *The* Defamer. Gawker's been rationing the definite articles in anticipation of today's launch.]