Hollywood Cranks Out Another Winner

Page Six had a small item about Transporter Jason Statham's upcoming project, a high-concept vehicle with a catchy title: Crank.

IN Speed, Keanu Reeves had to keep driving a booby-trapped bus at 50 mph at least or it would explode. In Crank, Jason Statham is a hitman who's been shot up with a Chinese poison that will kill him if his adrenaline level drops. Amy Smart (above), who plays his girlfriend, told the Chicago Sun Times: "What Jason must do to keep his adrenaline up is insane. He has to hammer nails into his legs, snort coke and have crazy sex in public."

Sadly, the Cranked screenwriters appear not to have veered outside of the Hollywood club bathroom scene for their adrenaline-inducing scenarios, where on any given night the stalls are alive with the telltale sounds of sniffing, moaning, and the hottest new trend: nailgunning. Trust us, by the end of next week, you'll all be impatiently waiting in interminable bathroom lines while a bunch of mactress types in shiny tank tops take turns pulling the trigger and blasting nails into each other's thighs.