We're sure you've been wondering what Blackface Jesus, our wonderfully offensive downtown mascot, has been up to lately. When not cruising his usual hipster spots, it seems that Blackface J has been mixing his carpentry with some global thought. From his MySpace blog:
INTERNATIONAL PEACE DOCTRINE
THE DOCTRINE IS IN THE FINAL STAGES..IT IS A CALL FOR A GLOBAL CEASE FIRE OF ALL NATIONS,RELIGIONS AND GROUPS..IT MUST BE INTRODUCED BY OUR PRESIDENT UNDER A WHITE FLAG TRUCE MEETING..ALL GROUPS WILL SIGN,AND THE ONES THAT DONT WILL THEN POSE A THREAT TO THE WHOLE WORLD..WE WILL SEE WHO IS FOR PEACE AND WHO IS NOT..AND THEN SIDES CAN BE DRAWN...WE MUST END THIS BEFORE IT ENDS US WE ONLY HAVE 7 YEARS TILL THE ASTROID HITS WE NEED TO FIND OUR PEACE BEFORE THAT DAY!
You heard it here first: you're either with Blackface Jesus, or with the astroid. We knew the Adminstration's version didn't sound quite right.
Blackface Jesus's Blog [MySpace]
!["...This is a real paradox for me: My entire life I've been told I wasn't pretty enough. My entire life I was told by people that I was ugly, that I was too tall, that I was flat-chested, that I was this, that I was that. When I was a stripper I was never quite pretty enough. I was never one of the beautiful girls. I was never one of the top earners. Suddenly I achieve something in my life that is purely intellectual and purely creative, and I'm being told that it's because I'm pretty. To me that is the weirdest, most ironic thing ever. Like all of a sudden I'm attractive when it suits people's purposes. But in the past when I needed to be attractive I was ugly. So let's pick. Which is it?" — Juno screenwriter Diablo Cody [Minneapolis City Pages]](https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--ONS8aczB--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_center,h_180,q_80,w_320/18s10utp0femfjpg.jpg)
