Colin Farrell Addicted To Something, In Rehab

Apparently, the gunfights, mutinies, and notoriously demanding director on the cursed Miami Vice set are enough to drive a hard-drinking movie star straight to the overzealous ingestion of prescription medication for a back injury. Reports the AP:

Colin Farrell is being treated for exhaustion and dependency on prescription medication, his publicist said.

The medication was prescribed to the Irish actor after a back injury, publicist Danica Smith said in a written statement Monday.

The statement said Farrell had checked himself into a treatment center, which wasn't identified.

Using our handy Terse Publicist Excuse Conversion Chart, we might surmise that the double-barreled public admission of "exhaustion" and "prescription medication dependency," combined with the claim that he "checked himself into a treatment center" means that Farrell was hastily transported to some sort of unlicensed safe house in the trunk of a Jaguar, whereupon his arrival (slung over a beefy associate's shoulder), he was immediately jabbed through the breast pocket of his Sonny Crocket suit with a pool cue-sized needle full of black-market adrenaline. But that cynical vision is quite obivously one too many viewings of Pulp Fiction getting the best of us, and it will turn out that Farrell just decided he liked the taste of over-the-counter Tylenol with codeine mashed up in his whiskey a little too much.