Moron Publicist of the Month: KFC's Flack

This is why people hate publicists.

Now, as people who have at least a glancing familiarity with this website, you probably realize that giveaway offers by national fast-food chains do not, typically, fall within our coverage area. One would expect even the soulless flacks responsible for publicizing giveaway offers by national fast-food chains to be aware of this. (True, we once wrote about an earlier stupid KFC gimmick, but that was only to lambaste the chain for appropriating Office Space for its nefarious purposes.)

But they're not. While we understand that junior-level PR people have to send out releases to whole big lists of media, and so we try to simply ignore them — rather than get mad at them, or taunt them — when they send us silly, irrelevant things like news about giveaway offers by national fast-food chains, sometimes that becomes impossible. Especially with the imbeciles who do press for our old pals KFC. Who have recently taken to hounding us.

Like with this email, which arrived yesterday:

From: Smulyan, Brandon
To: tips@gawker.com
Sent: Monday, December 12, 2005 2:54 PM
Subject: 'Tis the KFC-eason for giving

Hi Gawker,

I realize the Ultimate KFC Fan Contest ended yesterday. However, I just wanted to drop a friendly reminder to let you know the other item, the On Top of the World of KFC eBay Auction, ends on December 15. Have you had a chance to look over the details yet? Again, please feel free to contact me with any questions.

Best,

Brandon Smulyan for KFC
972.830.XXXX
xxxx@webershandwick.com

Brandon Smulyan for KFC then pastes below his previous emails to us about KFC's marketing effort, as though he'll somehow guilt us into writing about his campaign, which we thought we were being generous to not write about.

Well, congratulations, Brandon Smulyan for KFC. We're writing about you now.

Because you're our Moron Publicist of the Month.

The full email is after the jump.

From: Smulyan, Brandon
To: tips@gawker.com
Sent: Monday, December 12, 2005 2:54 PM
Subject: 'Tis the KFC-eason for giving

Hi Gawker,

I realize the Ultimate KFC Fan Contest ended yesterday. However, I just wanted to drop a friendly reminder to let you know the other item, the On Top of the World of KFC eBay Auction, ends on December 15. Have you had a chance to look over the details yet? Again, please feel free to contact me with any questions.

Best,

Brandon Smulyan for KFC
972.830.XXXX
xxxx@webershandwick.com

______________________________________________
From: Smulyan, Brandon
Sent: Tuesday, December 06, 2005 12:52 PM
To: tips@gawker.com
Subject: 'Tis the KFC-eason for giving

Hi Gawker,

I was wondering if you had a chance to look over the information I provided last week? Just a friendly reminder, the deadline for The Ultimate KFC Fan Contest is December 11, 2005. Please feel free to contact me with any questions.

Best,

Brandon Smulyan for KFC
972.830.XXXX
xxxx@webershandwick.com

______________________________________________
From: Smulyan, Brandon
Sent: Tuesday, November 29, 2005 1:33 PM
To: tips@gawker.com
Subject: 'Tis the KFC-eason for giving

Dear Gawker,

KFC is serving up a couple of giant-sized buckets of holiday cheer. The search is on for "The Ultimate KFC Fan" as well as an opportunity on eBay for a KFC enthusiast to dine at their KFC of choice anywhere in the world.

The Ultimate KFC Fan
Here is a chance this holiday season to give your KFC enthusiast loved-one the ultimate gift. As of "Black Friday", November 25, one can visit http://www.kfclist.com/ to nominate their crazy-for-KFC friend (or themselves) to be on the KFC's Holiday Gift List.

"The Ultimate KFC Fan" will receive (but not limited to):

Round-trip flights for four people to Louisville, Kentucky
Three days and two nights accommodations
Six months of free KFC dinners

On Top of the World of KFC eBay Auction
Looking for a little adventure in your dining atmosphere? KFC has partnered with eBay to auction off an out-of-the-ordinary dining experience. Starting on December 5 fans can visit www.ebay.com/KFC to place bids beginning at $2,000. Proceeds from the auction will benefit The Colonel's Kids Foundation.

The highest bidder will receive (but not limited to):

Round-trip for two people to a KFC anywhere in the world
Four days and three nights accommodations for two
A daily stipend to enjoy the area's attractions
An all-expense paid trip to Louisville, KY, for three days and two nights
Six months free KFC dinners

KFC fans can also get into the KFC-eason by visiting http://www.kfc.com/ to check out other gift ideas such as Louisville Stoneware's KFC collectibles.

I'd be happy to provide you with additional information on either of the two promotions or alternative ways to enter. For more details, you will find the press release below. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

Happy Holidays,

Brandon Smulyan for KFC
972.830.XXXX
xxxx@webershandwick.com

GIVE BUCKETS OF GOOD CHEER THEY'LL NEVER FORGET

KFC Makes Once-in-a-Lifetime Experiences Available to Mega-Fans this Holiday Season; Get Chicken-Lovers on "The List" Right after Turkey Day

LOUISVILLE, KY, November 25, 2005 KFC, a longtime dinner table "gift" for families around the world, is unwrapping a touch of the Colonel's spirit by offering KFC enthusiasts the chance to give and receive this holiday season.

Individuals looking to break the cycle of sweaters, socks and pajamas under the tree can play elf by nominating their favorite KFC fan to receive the gift of a lifetime in the search for "The Ultimate KFC Fan." If not the gift of a lifetime, how about treating one's friends to a taste-full KFC collectible? Or the opportunity to put themselves "On Top of the World of KFC" via a charity auction on eBay . Funds raised from the auction (after payment of expenses required to conduct the auction) will benefit the Colonel's Kids Foundation, an independent, not-for-profit entity, that will provide high school students scholarship resources to attend post-secondary schools.

"KFC has such a rich spirit and tradition, it's a natural for us to help our KFC-loving fans celebrate this holiday season with unique gift packages they can't find in any store," says Scott Bergren, chief marketing officer, KFC. "He may have had a white suit rather than a red one, and a goatee rather than a beard, but the Colonel's long history of giving to others is alive and well at KFC."

He's Making A List... of The Ultimate Fans

Beginning on "Black Friday," November 25, enterprising elves are invited to visit www.KFCList.com to share reasons why their chicken-loving, desperate-for-drumsticks, wacky-for-wings, loved ones (or themselves) should be on KFC's Holiday Gift List.

In a short essay (approximately 500 characters), participants are asked to describe what makes their nominee deserving of the title "The Ultimate KFC Fan." Friends of the Colonel will then make a list (and check it twice!) to select one KFC enthusiast to win KFC's Ultimate Holiday Gift.

Unwrapping the Ultimate Holiday Gift on KFCList.com

The winner of the title of "The Ultimate KFC Fan" will receive an all-expense paid trip for four to KFC central, also known as Louisville, as well as a visit to the Colonel's first restaurant in Corbin, Kentucky, to see where the secret started. The winner and guests will also dine at KFC's new concept restaurant, tour the KFC test kitchen, and enjoy a shopping spree at the KFC store. The memories will last throughout the year when the winner takes home six months of free KFC dinners, along with a set of KFC collectibles including a bucket, mug, and platter from Louisville Stoneware perfect for serving those favorite meals in grand holiday style.

Ten runners-up also will receive six months of KFC dinners and a set of KFC collectibles from Louisville Stoneware. The promotion kicks off at 12:01 a.m. PT on November 25 and runs through 11:59 a.m. PT on December 11, 2005. Visit www.KFCList.com or write to: KFC Ultimate Fan Contest, c/o Weber Shandwick, 676 N. St. Clair Street, Suite 1000, Chicago, IL 60611 for more details, an entry form and official rules.

A Jumbo-Sized Wish on eBay

Looking to give AND receive this holiday season? KFC is partnering with eBay , The World's Online Marketplace , to award one marquis gift to the highest bidder, with proceeds benefiting Colonel's Kids Foundation, an independent, not-for-profit entity, that will provide high school students scholarship resources to attend post-secondary schools. KFC will match the highest bid dollar for dollar up to $25,000.

The lucky "Secret Santa" will enjoy the "On Top of the World of KFC Holiday Tour" a trip for two to the KFC location of their choice, anywhere in the world, as well as a separate trip for two to Louisville for the ultimate KFC experience. The winner can munch on a bucket of Extra Crispy Chicken at the KFC closest to the equator or nibble down on some Original Recipe at the KFC closest to the North Pole.

The "On Top of the World of KFC Holiday Tour" eBay auction kicks off at 5:00 p.m. PT on December 5, 2005 and runs through 5:00 p.m. PST on December 15, 2005. The starting bid is $2,000.00, based on the approximate value of a trip for two people. Visit www.ebay.com/KFC to place bids.

Out Bid?

Not on the list? Not to worry. There are still plenty of ways for KFC fans to satisfy their cravings. From the gift of a delicious KFC meal anytime with KFC gift checks to KFC salt and pepper shakers from Louisville Stoneware, there is something for everyone. Visit www.KFC.com for more information.

About KFC

KFC Corporation, based in Louisville, Ky., is the world's most popular chicken restaurant chain specializing in Original Recipe , Extra Crispy and Colonel's Crispy Strips with home-style sides, Honey BBQ Wings, and freshly made chicken sandwiches. There are more than 13,000 KFC outlets in more than 80 countries and territories around the world, serving some eight million customers each day. KFC Corporation is a subsidiary of Yum! Brands, Inc., Louisville, Ky. (NYSE: YUM.)

About Colonel's Kids

KFC's Colonel's Kids, an independent entity funded by donations from KFC, its employees, franchisees and KFC patrons, was established as a non-profit charity in 1999. Its mission is to provide high school students scholarship resources to attend post-secondary schools within their states of residence. For more information on the contest, how you can help Colonel's Kids and restaurant locations, visit www.KFC.com.

About Louisville Stoneware

Louisville Stoneware, based in Louisville, Ky., is one of the country's oldest and most revered stoneware manufacturing firms. Each of the unique and beautiful handmade and hand painted stoneware, collectibles, dinnerware and bakeware bring America's roots and traditions to life. The historic company dates back to the early 1800s. Visit www.louisvillestoneware.com for more information.

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