He can't hold down a job and he can barely hold together his everyday life. Yet, it's somehow not at all surprising that within three weeks of arriving in Jerusalem with no previous Hebrew training or Jewish education, beloved mascot Andrew Krucoff has not only decided he's ready for a belated bar mitzvah but has also managed to find a group of people — bloggers, natch — to coordinate it and enticed pervy Dov Charney of American Apparel to sponsor it.
Given that the service is at the Western Wall at 8 o'clock Thursday morning, and given the ten-hour flight to Tel Aviv, the time change, El Al's lengthy security check-in procedures, and the fact we haven't even started to pick out outfits, let alone pack, we figure our only chance to make it would be to catch the 11:50 out of JFK tonight, which would get us to Ben Gurion tomorrow afternoon and give us time to get over to Jerusalem, shluff a bit, and still make Krucoff's
maftirTorah portion. (Apparently there's no maftir at a non-Shabbat BM. We had no idea, having never been to one.)
We also figure booking a flight to Tel Aviv a mere 12 hours in advance is the surest way to get ourselves on a terrorist watch list. So we're afraid we're going to have to pass. (Also, we have dinner plans tonight.)
Still: Mazel tov, Kruc.
Now someone please send pictures.