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• Nick Lachey may sell his side of the divorce story to OK! magazine for $300k, complete with the help of Jamie-Lynn Sigler's ex-husband, A.J. DiScala. As if this weren't classy enough, Lachey may also be investing in megaclub Pacha. Dude's got to keep up with Jessica's post-breakup collagen, after all. [Page Six]
• FBI agents are investigating the Crazy Horse Too strip club in Vegas for racketeering and have interviewed some of the joint's biggest clients, including Robert DeNiro and George Clooney. Anything to get near Clooney, we suppose. [R&M]
• Let's put it this way: If Kate Moss's omni-addicted ex-boyfriend Pete Doherty doesn't have HIV, it's a Christmas miracle. [Page Six]
• Speaking of Christmas miracles, Naomi Campbell actually apologizes to David Bowie for getting her bitch on with Bowie's wife, Iman. [Gatecrasher]
• Nathan Lane mocks Brokeback Mountain on the Today show, and the actor's membership in the Gay Club is thus revoked. [Lowdown]
• Shirley MacLaine is no Paris Hilton. She is, however, quite the Nicole Richie. [Scoop]