In Times of Crisis, You Must Draw a Line

In April of 2003, when techie PR man Peter Shankman bought his Segway, he was an incredible, inscrutable freak.

Now, you kind of want to be his best friend. Hell, you'd even do him sideways. Right?

Well, shame on you! No matter how bad things get out there, don't you ever accept the lazy man's scooter. Does the transit strike make it OK to abandon our chic civility and metropolitan pretense? Are you going to start looting stores and eating babies just because you can't ride the subway? Fuck no — this isn't New Orleans. You're better than that, and you're not going to be caught dead near one of those damn Segways.