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Today's Page Six lends an uncharacteristically sympathetic ear to Kathy Griffin, who found out that E! had rolled up her heavily nip/tucked body in a red carpet and tossed her in the river only when her lawyer tried to find out about her Golden Globes assignment:

"I asked my reps, 'What's going on? The Golden Globes are in three weeks.' "

When Griffin's people called Harbert, "Apparently Ted told my reps that the E! red carpet is a puzzle and I am a piece of the puzzle, which is a wonderful puzzle piece, but I don't fit this particular puzzle and that when I see the puzzle, I will get it. I am a piece that doesn't understand only because they can't tell me who will take over.

"They kept saying, 'When you see the new puzzle, you will know it is not a personal insult.' I was like, are you kidding? I got canned, bottom line. I can't even be like Star Jones and be like, 'Oh, I have a book tour coming up!'

And in news that is certainly unrelated to Griffin's puzzle-piece-related shitcanning, E! has broken open its piggy bank and showered ubiquitous asexual (ahem) show-hosting presence Ryan Seacrest with its shiny pennies to anchor E! News Live and develop high-quality programs (first in the pipeline: Ryan Seacrest's 50 Best Hair Days) for the network. And if he just happens to wander onto the red carpet with a microphone in his hand, the network will probably not discourage him from squealing with delight while asking Naomi Watts about who designed her dress.