· The LAT gets a tour of Scientology's desert compound, and the accompanying photos haunt our dreams. Meanwhile its VVVVIP guest, Tom Cruise, gives Katie Holmes a completely-against-her-will birthday to remember.
· Hollywood Rumor Mill: Is keychain-bequeathing cash-rich ICM looking to buy Endeavor?
· Britney Spears bitchslaps Us Weekly with a $20 million libel suit.
· 'Tis the season for rabble-rousing corporate year-end e-mails.
· A New Mexico judge grants the other Oprah in David Letterman's life a restraining order against her late night tormentor.
· The crappy Christmas gifts contest has its winner: Congratulations, Untitled Entertainment!
· Demi Moore and Nancy Reagan have a nail salon date with destiny.
· The Joe Francis blackmail video trial is chugging along nicely.
· New York Transit Strike inconveniences a number of celebrities!
· Happy Holidays, Brett Ratner-style.
· Lloyd Grove notices an intesting evolutionary tick in Brad Pitt before swearing to never utter his name again. Having made no such promise ourselves, we run a sighting of Pitt with adopted son Maddox at an Oxnard Sports Chalet.
· Meanwhile that other once cute movie star Brad ain't lookin' so hot lately.
· Ivy Supersonic's one-woman campaign against Fox and others gives those desk drones lucky enough to be near a window something to look at.
· The Chappelle Theory does end up being brilliant parody, leaving us somewhat disappointed.
· All Lindsay Lohan wants for Christmas is to be left alone so that she can text message at the Grove in peace!
· Now Jeremy Piven has more in common with Catherine Zeta-Jones than just being among our most beloved stars.
· Writer seeks whore to help whore himself out.
· We'll be back on Tuesday, Dec. 27.