Defamer New Year's Eve Guide: Starbang Your Way Into 2006

Stuck in town and still not sure about your New Year's Eve plans? Pamela Anderson has just turned that issue into a no-brainer: Simply join her and a few thousand of her closest recreational investors friends on the Paramount lot for the Party of the Year!

On Paramount's studio lots designed to look like the Big Apple, Angelinos can ring in 2006 with ex-"Baywatch" babe Pamela Anderson and gyrate to the music of the red-hot Pussycat Dolls.

Organizers say they hope to make the party the answer to New York's famous Times Square street party.

"L.A. has never had an event or a place to be on New Year's Eve. This is the first," says Matthew Gavin of Hardball Productions, which is putting on the Anderson-hosted bash called "Gridlock."

The big difference, besides warmer temps, is that this party is not free: Tickets, available at gridlockla.com, cost anywhere from $150 to $1,000 depending on the level of VIP access. There will be four sound stages with different acts and, definitely unlike Times Square, there will be an open Dom Perignon bar.

Gavin expects 4,000 revelers to show up at the Flaunt magazine-sponsored bash, including celebs Jessica Alba, Val Kilmer and Eric (sic) Paladino of NBC's "ER."

We think the VIP payment-levels program is an inspired system. Merely being able to afford the $1000 access denotes that you a more interesting, charismatic, and ultimately desirable party guest, and thus the perfect accompaniment to non-whore, A-list talent like Jessica Alba. And for those workaday monkeys who can only afford $150 tickets? Well, at the very least you can call your even broker friends stuck at home watching Dick Clarkbot and yell, "That's right, bitches! I'm standing right next to Erik Paladino! That's how I roll!" before triumphantly snapping your cell phone shut.